But I’m glad I did. Does that sound strange? Let me explain. Growing up I was a loner and to top it off, I was lonely. I used to cry out to God to send me someone to love, I wanted a family, I wanted a woman to love, a woman who loved me. But let’s back up for a minute.
Before I got lost in this lonely world I was in love with Jesus. I used to practice saying Mass in my bedroom, I wanted to be a priest, I wanted to serve the Lord.
Back to crying out for someone to love. I’ve been homeless but I always had somewhere to sleep. I’ve been hungry but I’ve always gotten something to eat and I always wanted more. I was envious of what people had. Everyone had a better life than me (or so it seemed).
But I was wrong. I didn’t know true love. I didn’t know Christ! Now that I know love, true love, I want to give my whole self to love. But I’m divided.
Driving home from work tonight I realized the grace that was given me through my wife from Jesus. I believe that He answered my prayer even though it was probably not what was best for me. What was best for me would have been a life wholly dedicated to Him (for there is no greater purpose to life than to live for Him). But does this mean that He answered my prayer with something that was bad instead of the good? Absolutely not! For marriage is good; the two shall become one flesh.
I believe that Jesus saved my life by giving me my wife. For if I had been alone longer than I had been I don’t think I would have had the strength to live. Now, I have a beautiful wife and four beautiful children. There are times that I feel that I could have done more (and most times I probably could or should have) but all in all I’ve done my best.
I am satisfied with my wife, she is a good woman. I smile when I think of her. My children are beautiful and they give life meaning.
However, if I lost them all I would not despair now as I would have before. Now I know the meaning of life, I know love, True Love.
Dear Lord, help me to love my family truly as you have loved us. Help me to give all to you so that I will have something to give to those I love.